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A Call for the Return of Sword-Fighting

May 7, 2013 – 8:58 pm |

The recent failure of a morally responsible assault weapon ban to be voted into law has to be one of the most marvelous examples of despicable, me-first beltway greed and heads-up-their-assesness of 21st century politics, …

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Dez, Featured, Poetry »

And by the Morning Empty

May 13, 2013 – 6:12 pm |

The sand glides down my
throat to quell the
burning. You insist
I can make it to the
dock on the other
side but the pumping,
cowardly blood says
otherwise. A figure-
eight, I said, looks like
infinity depending upon
the way your head
is turned. We inhabit
the same lifeboat, you
know, as sure as you are
leading me to the
jittery lights on land. I
am worth your time, you
say, but I will never be
worth you.

I only felt the
treasure in the form
of a golden cross pendant
palpating against my
pelvis, an uninhabited
and sullen island, where
I only hear the fusions on
the sun and no echoes of
“We’re going to be together,
aren’t we?”


April 4, 2013 – 1:17 am |

It’s that time of year again where we WWE fans have our mega une soirée! Last year, I introduced you to the performance art that was Worldwide Wrestling Entertainment and gave my predictions as writers …

Ten Reasons Chip Kelly is a Happy Fun Time Hire for the Eagles

January 16, 2013 – 6:07 pm |

10. He’s not Andy Reid. I was a big fan of Big Red even long past his expiration date, but I can’t stress enough how important it was to hire a coach who wasn’t Andy …

A Test Poem

January 2, 2013 – 10:35 am |

Hey all, I hope you lot had a great holiday season. We’ve got more planned for 2013, so hopefully you haven’t stopped following the site (if you miraculously were, -winkyface-). However, this post only exists …

The Obligatory Best-of Poetry Collection from That One Semester in College

September 13, 2012 – 12:57 am |

My fellow Dysfunctionites! As from the terrible poetry you’ve seen me write on here, it’s conspicuously painful (or painfully conspicuous) that poems not my forte. My heart goes out to poets everywhere because one can …

What is Classic Rock?

September 12, 2012 – 3:13 pm |

Driving home from work on Labor Day weekend, I came across an “All-time Best Classic Rock Band” countdown on the radio. The Rolling Stones were playing at the time. I was pleased because I love …